Trump’s Plan B: Rebuild Atlantis and Become it’s President
At a campaign rally earlier today, Donald Trump told reporters that he planned to rebuild Atlantis and become it's. Continue reading
Trump Tries to Bribe Clinton and Save America
New York: Exclusive documents accessed by Squib News have revealed that Donald Trump, in a selfless act, tried to. Continue reading
War Makes Us Smarter
While everybody else is concerned about anthrax, domestic terrorism and war, educators from kindergarten to. Continue reading
Obama to Privatize ATF
President Obama continues his crusade to privatize more government services. Carl Rova, a top political advisor. Continue reading
Squeaky Shoe Drives Woman Insane
A woman was admitted to a mental institute last night after having gone completely insane from listening to the. Continue reading
New App Allows Mobile Deposit of Cash
A new app has been launched that will allow users to deposit cold hard cash via mobile devices. This app has been. Continue reading
Hillary Clinton to Divorce Bill for Holding Her Back
In a huge move, Hillary Clinton is all set to file for divorce after feeling that Bill was holding her back. She. Continue reading
Toupee or Not Toupee? That is the Question: But What’s the Answer?
Newsflash! A varmint has taken up permanent residence on Donald Trump’s head. It has been squatting, rent free,. Continue reading
Border Fence Opposition Wins Campaign to Keep Desert Free From Eyesore
Plans to expand the Texan portion of the United States border fence with Mexico have suffered a setback this week. Continue reading
Ellen DeGeneres Being Vetted for Hillary Running Mate
Ellen DeGeneres will be vetted as a potential Vice Presidential candidate for Hillary Clinton. If selected, this. Continue reading
Airlines Announce Passengers Over 120 lbs Will Be Charged Excess Baggage
In a bid to further reform the aviation sector, airline companies announced yesterday that all passengers weighing. Continue reading
Wal-Mart Security Cameras to Be New Reality Show
In exclusive details accessed by our reporter, NBC has decided to play the footage of a local Wal-Mart store and. Continue reading
Univision Purchases The Onion for $27.3 Million, Attempts to Buy Squib News for $1.3 Billion
Reports are emerging about an attempted takeover of SquibNews.com by Univision for a whooping $1.3 billion, after. Continue reading
Top 10 Reasons to Not Vote for Hillary
America would stop being taunted about how it hasn't yet elected a woman Won't be any Flotus and Fmotus,. Continue reading
Descendants of Founding Fathers Draft Letter to Queen Elizabeth
Squib News has learned that an organization, known as The Society of the Descendants of the Signers of the. Continue reading
Top 10 Reasons to Vote for Trump
Would give countless Americans something to laugh about each morning After seeing his hair, bald men would. Continue reading
Super Bowl to be Held on Monday to Allow More Days Off Work
In a huge announcement, the NFL has stated that it will henceforth host the Super Bowl on a Monday, so that people. Continue reading
California to Issue Licenses for Drone Hunting
In another boost to the Second Amendment, California has become the first state to issue hunting licenses for. Continue reading
No More Bird $#!?
County officials in San Diego, California are feeding birds fish pellets laced with psychotropic medication. The. Continue reading
Trump to Make Clinton His Running Mate
In a move that might change the political landscape for 2016, Donald Trump has expressed he would like Hillary. Continue reading
Mickey Mouse to Finally Wed Minnie
It’s not unlike men to wait for the right time before deciding to settle down. It is, however, unusual for a. Continue reading
NFL and CBS to Fine Peyton Manning Over Subliminal Advertising
Have you ever wondered why Peyton Manning yells “OMAHA!” over and over again during all his plays? It has been. Continue reading
Ronald Reagan Back from the Grave, GOP Turns Its Back on Him
After lying in cryonic suspension for some time, popular folk hero and Republican legend, Ronald Reagan, has. Continue reading
Never Stop at Red Lights Again, Strobe Lights Available Soon!
Going green will soon have a new meaning. A patent is currently pending on a smaller version of the green light. Continue reading
ISIS Worried American Sniper Chris Kyle’s Ghost is Killing Their Top Commanders
If intelligence reports are to be believed, ISIS is in a state of alarm after some of its top commanders have. Continue reading
Homeless Population Granted New Underground Residences
Brooklyn, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, and Los Angeles have just passed local legislation that will allow the. Continue reading
Area 51 to Host Open House and Prove There Are No Aliens
In what will be a devastating decision for all the seasoned conspiracy theorists, the Obama administration has. Continue reading
Time Warner to Stop Cable Services and Offer Hulu and Netflix Instead
Yesterday in a New York press release, Time Warner announced it was permanently discontinuing its cable services. Continue reading
Homeless Shelters to be Converted to ISIS Refugee Camps
Many may recall last year's controversy on whether or not funds should be designated for the relief of Syrian. Continue reading
DMV to Conduct Background Checks Before Issuing Licenses
Beginning on February 8, DMVs across the nation will conduct background checks before issuing driver licenses to. Continue reading
