A woman was admitted to a mental institute last night after having gone completely insane from listening to the squeaky noise made by her shoe. The woman is currently undergoing treatment, but doctors are unsure if her mental state can become “squeaky clean” so that she may rejoin normal society.

We spoke to her sister for more clarity. “It all started when she purchased that shoe a couple of months back with a flat 90% discount and no return policy. The shoe felt comfortable and fun, but just as she left the store, it started squeaking. With no after sales recourse, she decided to wear it anyway hoping that it wouldn’t bother her too much. Everywhere she went, the chu-shcu-cu-cu followed. It was as if some DJ was was disc scratching continuously at her feet. Things became so bad that once, a DJ at a nightclub wanted to borrow her shoe after his discs failed to make the proper noise. Soon she started hearing that noise in the shower, dreams, and boys on the street started to bother her by imitating it. Well, you all know the rest.”

Unfortunately, the boys from the street have insisted that they were just making catcalls to escape any punishment.

The company who manufactures the shoes has brushed off any responsibility, stating, “The tagline of our brand is ‘stuff you will go crazy for’ and the shoe has delivered just that, so it’s a product as advertised. How can you blame us?”