New Intel on Kim Jung Un Reveals a Problem with Self-Indulgence
Kim Jung Un is undoubtedly one of the most powerful men in the world. At only 33 years old, he's the youngest head. Continue reading
NFL and CBS to Fine Peyton Manning Over Subliminal Advertising
Have you ever wondered why Peyton Manning yells “OMAHA!” over and over again during all his plays? It has been. Continue reading
Ronald Reagan Back from the Grave, GOP Turns Its Back on Him
After lying in cryonic suspension for some time, popular folk hero and Republican legend, Ronald Reagan, has. Continue reading
How Does It Feel To Have The Worst Team, Kris Cemp?
Reporters gathered outside of Kris Cemp’s house today with several questions about his opinions on various. Continue reading
Never Stop at Red Lights Again, Strobe Lights Available Soon!
Going green will soon have a new meaning. A patent is currently pending on a smaller version of the green light. Continue reading
Shocking Discovery Confirms the Earth Really Is Flat
Most of us can remember learning about our home planet in school. Our teachers had those standard globes, and we. Continue reading
ISIS Worried American Sniper Chris Kyle’s Ghost is Killing Their Top Commanders
If intelligence reports are to be believed, ISIS is in a state of alarm after some of its top commanders have. Continue reading
Civil Rights Groups: Computers Must Diversify
Civil rights groups converged on Intel's corporate headquarters to protest the lack of inherent diversity in. Continue reading
Homeless Population Granted New Underground Residences
Brooklyn, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, and Los Angeles have just passed local legislation that will allow the. Continue reading
Donald Trump to Sponsor Bernie Sanders’ Independent Run for Presidency
At his 90th press conference today, Donald Trump announced that he would be sponsoring Bernie Sanders to run as an. Continue reading
Amazon Acquires USPS via Hostile Takeover
In what appears to be a hostile takeover, online shopping mogul, Amazon, is set to purchase the United States. Continue reading
Quality of The Simpsons Further Reduced for Fox’s New Standards
In a statement released yesterday, Al Jean, The Simpsons' show runner, said that the quality of the show will. Continue reading
Area 51 to Host Open House and Prove There Are No Aliens
In what will be a devastating decision for all the seasoned conspiracy theorists, the Obama administration has. Continue reading
Time Warner to Stop Cable Services and Offer Hulu and Netflix Instead
Yesterday in a New York press release, Time Warner announced it was permanently discontinuing its cable services. Continue reading
Homeless Shelters to be Converted to ISIS Refugee Camps
Many may recall last year's controversy on whether or not funds should be designated for the relief of Syrian. Continue reading
Trump Praises Putin and Kim Jong Un, Castro Feels Snubbed
Fidel Castro is reportedly unhappy with America, or more specifically with Donald Trump, after being the only. Continue reading
Nigerian Prince Was Real, Finally Found Help to Reclaim Fortune and Title
Twenty-seven-year-old Jeffery Downhour was the guest of honor as he was paraded through the streets of Layos,. Continue reading
DMV to Conduct Background Checks Before Issuing Licenses
Beginning on February 8, DMVs across the nation will conduct background checks before issuing driver licenses to. Continue reading
FAA Evaluates Tablets as an Upgrade to Traditional Cockpit Controls
A new study revealed that up to 87% of flights are delayed due to the Windows blue screen of death. The study. Continue reading
Trump Buys San Diego Chargers, Breaks Ground on Beachfront Megastadium
Donald Trump has purchased his first sports franchise, the San Diego Chargers. Amid the recent indecisiveness of. Continue reading
Portion of Zuckerberg’s Pledged Charity to be Spent on Wardrobe Makeover
After a photo of Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg's all grey wardrobe went viral, reports emerged that a portion of. Continue reading
McDonald’s Maintains Cheese is in Mozzarella Sticks, Only Taste is Missing
Following multiple allegations that McDonald's new mozzarella sticks contain no cheese, McDonald's has released a. Continue reading
Commuters to Call in Sick, Lessen Traffic Impact
Rush hour commuters are being urged to stay home from work at least one day each week following a report by the. Continue reading
California Beaches to House Solar Panels
California, a state known for its extravagant wineries, celebrities, and debt is working to claim a new title:. Continue reading
Facebook to Pay Users Based on Number of Friends
The world was shocked today when Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook, announced that Facebook will pay each user. Continue reading
Overweight Americans Cause Earth’s Axial Shift, Threaten Diplomacy
In a recent journal, scientists report the Earth’s axial tilt has shifted, amplifying the effects of climate. Continue reading
Xbox Live Down for 6 Hours—Mountain Dew and Marijuana Sales Plummet
Microsoft, the company known for its reliability and incredibly secure software, encountered a series. Continue reading
Smokable Diet Crystals: The New Weight-Loss Supplement
Worried about sticking to your weight-loss goals for the New Year? Then join the latest supplement craze:. Continue reading
Obama’s Latest Executive Order Sparks Outrage with Officers
Americans all over the country threw down their Whoppers in a collective rage at President Obama's recent. Continue reading
Local Man Alone in Conclusion That He’s the “Funny One” in Group
During a recent discussion with his group of friends about which “one” each person is in the group, a local. Continue reading
