Washington DC: Hillary Clinton, the democratic presidential nominee, today urged all the police officers in the country to engage, grapple or in extreme cases shoot black suspects only after being shot at first. The police officers have also been strictly advised not to bat an eyelid even if the man is carrying a Samurai Sword in one hand and a Kalashnikov in the other and yelling “I will kill you.” This move is hailed by self-proclaimed intellectual and liberal people, who say that this directive would be a boon when it comes to police reforms.

We met up with one of the admirers of the new arrangement for more details, “Look, #blacklivesmatter and only black lives matter, so we must take all the steps possible to ensure that, even if it means putting the lives of our officers at risk.”

When we pointed out that he himself is white and asked for his apparent prejudice against his own race he retorted, “So what if I am white, I am #transracial and identify as black! I matter! Now to tell you the truth it won’t be a problem for the officers, as we have seen in countless movies that even the hero is shot, he still manages to kill 10 villains with his bare hands. And movies are definitely true.”

He finally added, “I agree the brave police officers risk their lives for ungrateful people like me, but again they provide me no benefit what so ever.”