Astronaut Scot Kelly, who recently returned after spending a year in space, is reportedly saddened after no one on Earth noticed his absence from the planet. We spoke to Kelly, who stated, “I was given such a rousing reception by space enthusiasts and those on social media, as I returned to the planet we call home. So, I was expecting the same reception from people in my town, but to my surprise, everyone there reacted as if I had never ever been gone. No one acted as if they knew anything about my spending a year in space! I was greeted as if they had seen me at the club just last night!”

Kelly said what was even more surprising was that a couple of his close acquaintances talked to him about everything that had happened in the past year: who got married, divorced, or hooked up, but not even once did they ask why he wasn’t there to witness it all. “I am totally exasperated! I feel like a guy who has gone through a very traumatic experience, and people are acting normally to help me forget or believe that I never even went. I can’t live like this!”