In a shocking series of events, only half of the United States’ Congress failed mandatory drug tests earlier this week. This number is a dramatic decrease from the 80% failure reported last winter. Some inside sources, who would like to remain anonymous, offered us their insight on this matter.

Our first source, “Bernie Sanders,” told us that he felt it was due to the lack of stress on the job. “No one even does anything anymore,” he said. “In the old days, they would do cocaine to stay awake, read the bills, and all that. Now, they just sit and talk about how much they hate Obama while trying to not sound racist. There’s no stress. Some don’t even show up to vote.”

Another source, “Barbara Boxer,” said that she failed the test because it became more selective in regards to marijuana usage. “If they just kept doing what they were doing and didn’t screen for weed, I’d be golden,” she said. “But of course they just gotta narc on us and punish us for smoking. Total buzzkill. I just wish my state would legalize it already, y’know? I can get a card pretty easily, but that doesn’t mean it’s legal, you know?” She then stared at us for a few seconds, blinked rapidly, and asked us if we would “like to partake.”

Analysts believe Congress members will continue to stop using drugs as they continue to not do their jobs. “If they have nothing to unwind from, there’s no reason to use,” one analyst said. “Lots of them don’t even show up and still get paid. They don’t have to escape from anything if that’s their job.”