Adam Carolla will not shut up about how his current wealth is the result of re-wiring himself. He has been lying to us all along. The Ace Man is a rich white guy because he has skipped out on buying soap his entire life.
Seriously, the guy strips down to his Tommy John underwear, gets into his pool in the morning, and calls that a shower. Then, he swaps out his wet underwear for yesterday’s now-dry underwear and starts his day.
Then again, this is the guy that said, “Only people that use Chapstick need to use Chapstick.” This may be why Jimmy Kimmel felt bad for his brain-damaged boxing coach back in the 90’s. Maybe Jimmy thought It would be funny to help a dank-smelling construction worker become rich.
Call it irony that the guy who does not use soap created the Hobo Power Scale (HP). Could Adam’s “soap virgin” taint be the elusive 100 HP smell we thought not possible? Only Lynette would know.
Maybe we could all benefit from Old Spice becoming a sponsor on The Adam Carolla Show. And maybe Febreze could sponsor his race cars, so the race suit does not have to be burnt after every race.