President Donald Trump yesterday signed an executive order which legalized marijuana in all 50 states. This has people speculating as to why he stumbled upon this issue which has ordinarily been a poll plank of the Libertarian party. The decision looked even strange considering Trump is a teetotaler and many were surprised by the fact that he had even heard about marijuana before.

We spoke to a staff in the White House whose job involves eavesdropping on Trump’s conversations and reporting them to Hillary Clinton, “Now you must know that Trump stays alone in the White House, with his wife and kid being mostly based out of New York.  So one night while dining with the portrait of George Washington he exclaimed that the Drug Cartels were making too much money. Some even making sizably more than him and no one was questioning the amount of income tax they paid.  Irked by this Trump decided to do something about it and after brushing his teeth, got the executive order drafted and signed it before tucking himself into bed.  I personally believe that this order was in the hope that all his detractors, especially those in the Universities who are crying hoarse about nothing would now stay stoned at least until the end of his term.”

This order even though hailed by his supporters who have since forbidden everyone in their family from ever going to Marijuana shops and some libertarians who have since declared their life as fulfilled and proceeded to retire to the mountains, is seeing it’s fair share of detractors. The liberal media is aghast at this decision and is asking as to how could Trump be so cruel to the poor drug peddler on the street and innocent cartel bosses, whose business would as it is get affected by the proposed wall across the border.