Things Can’t Be on the Internet if Untrue

We’ve all been there before – tirelessly fact-checking whether something we read on a website is really true or not. It’s been a problem that has plagued us from the moment the Internet was born. However, did you know there’s a secret rule for the Internet that makes this whole situation much easier?

Google, owners and creators of the Internet, released the revised manual of Internet Rules early last week. There were a few changes that flew under the radar (one of them being that all people must now shout the word “Google” every time they use Google), but there was one very important rule that, when researched, was shown to have been in practice since the Internet first came into being.

Rule 08.9A.ii simply states, “Nothing on the Internet can ever be false.” This makes the Internet an easier place to understand, doesn’t it? Now, your research papers can be done in half the time.

“But, wait,” some of you might be saying. “What about when websites have very different information? For example, this website says it’s perfectly legal to stab someone if I want, while this so-called ‘police website’ says stabbing people is very illegal. They can’t both be right!”

Don’t worry, Google thought of that. Rule 08.9A.iii says, “If any facts are found to be contradictory, then you are simply viewing websites from parallel universes.” That clears it up, doesn’t it? Now, if anyone ever says something you said is untrue, just be sure to remind them that you are indeed correct in a parallel universe. It’s sure to shut them up.

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