- Would give countless Americans something to laugh about each morning
- After seeing his hair, bald men would start taking pride in being bald
- Would give Squib News and other satire sites countless things to write about
- Rekindle hope in fickle-minded and motor-mouthed people, showing that they could accomplish something in life
- Have a really hot first lady
- Would rebuild the White House and rename it the Trump House
- No punishment from teachers or boss for making weird and funny faces
- Being a megalomaniac would finally become socially acceptable
- After building a wall along Mexico he would build a bridge to Atlantis
- Make America great again
