Going green will soon have a new meaning. A patent is currently pending on a smaller version of the green light system used in emergency vehicles. With the push of a button on your dashboard, the green light system will activate allowing you to say goodbye to stopping at red lights! Light Your Way LLC, a garage upstart company, is sharing this technology with every commuter car. This strobe light will be made available to the public in a limited supply. Never be late for work, happy hour, or school again.
Unfortunately, this technology comes with a hefty price tag. There is a $1,400 permit application fee and a yearly $500 registration fee. Purchasers must also consent to background checks, fingerprinting, and psychological evaluations consisting of questions, such as “If you were running late to work, would it be ok to a) hit a dog, b) hit a pedestrian, or c) hit a tree?”
Temporary permits will also be available for pregnant women, those with incontinence (doctor’s note must be provided), concrete truck drivers, and pizza delivery drivers.