Most of us can remember learning about our home planet in school. Our teachers had those standard globes, and we learned that the Earth was a sphere with an equator and north and south poles. Well, a new scientific discovery has revealed that everything we thought we knew about the shape of the Earth is wrong. Apparently, the Earth is indeed flat. Yes, flat. As a journalist, I can say this is the most difficult story I have had to report, as I am still personally coming to terms with the news.
Sadly, this means that B.o.B. and Tila Tequila were right. The Earth really is a flat disc accelerating up at 9.8 m/s2. We now know that this acceleration is what causes gravity. This also means that those three-hour-long YouTube videos (that are narrated by a computerized voice) about how “big science” is lying are also true. This is leaving many to question what else could be true. Could the Anunaki really be controlling the human race like some sort of elaborate puppet show? Could lizard people be hiding among us and influencing politics? Could the Earth be hollow? All we can do now is wait for more research.
