Beginning on February 8, DMVs across the nation will conduct background checks before issuing driver licenses to applicants. The decision comes amidst numerous online complaints that it’s too easy to obtain a license and that some people who are given licenses should be vetted more comprehensively.

“Cars are dangerous weapons,” a DMV spokesperson said in a recent interview. “We can’t just hand driver licenses out willy-nilly. If a collision occurs, at even just 10 miles per hour, it can do serious damage. We need to make sure these licenses are going into the hands of safe, responsible people, and our previous efforts were not accomplishing that.”

The head of the DMV in Washington, D.C. confirmed, “We evaluated our current processes and found we weren’t doing nearly enough. Right now, people just come in and leave with a license to drive– we can’t let that happen anymore. So, we decided to take action. We met with several government consultants who developed our initiative for change
.”

With a sigh, he continued. “I can’t believe we were so lenient on giving people access to such weapons. They’re so dangerous, and we just had no oversight. None. Thank goodness we will be able to rectify this situation.”