After a photo of Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s all grey wardrobe went viral, reports emerged that a portion of his 99% pledged wealth to charity would be used to purchase more colorful clothes. This news has been met with relief from his acquaintances. After seeing him in drab grey outfits, everyone felt as though they were in a constant state of mourning.

We spoke to the genius behind this bold move, COO Sheryl Sandberg. “Well, the money designated for charity is for people who are in dire need. After seeing Mr. Zuckerberg’s all grey wardrobe, we realized that he was spending less and less in order to maximize the amount he could donate in the future. Plus, we saw him desperately selling Free Basics, which is another way of ensuring that Facebook increases its huge advertising revenue by increasing its number of users. My team and I decided that Mr. Zuckerberg must be very very needy, so we set aside a portion of the funds for him.”

When asked how they could in good moral conscious set aside the money intended for charity, Sandberg replied, “Well, the money hasn’t exactly been pledged to a charity as is the popular belief. It has actually been pledged to an LLC (Limited Liability Company), which will ensure immense tax benefits for the money invested.” There are rumors that this incident may prompt a sequel to The Social Network.