New App to Rate Your Ex-Wife: Helping the Next Guy Dodge Emotional Bullets
In a groundbreaking stride for modern technology, the innovative minds at Silicon Heartbreak have developed a. Continue reading
China Buys Google for $1 Trillion
In an unexpected event, the company that was started with the help of the United States Government was sold to. Continue reading
Army to Conduct 3.2 Billion Study on Why Marines are Better
The Secretary of Defense is facing backlash after asking Congress to allocate public funds towards a new military. Continue reading
Tesla’s E-NASCAR Spins Out During First Race
Though Elon Musk thought it would be a good idea, Tesla’s first organized race event was boring and. Continue reading
Hipster Donates Penis to Transgender
In the ultimate counter culture move do date, a young man with a man bun and beard decides to donate his penis to. Continue reading
Neo-Nazi Radicals Change Name to #WLM (White Lives Matter)
A neo-Nazi radical group has adopted the name White Lives Matter (#WLM) due to excessive amounts of negative. Continue reading
Slave Owners On US Currency Will be Replaced
Out of the 11 most common currencies used in the US today, 8 have a slave owner on them. Outraged citizens call. Continue reading
Solar Eclipse Footaged Leaked Early From NASA
Solar Eclipse footage was leaked to conspiracy websites just days before the so called “Solar Eclipse 2017”. Continue reading
Intoxicated Man Does His Taxes, Gets $4 Million Refund
In a huge win for the IRS and the American public, a fully intoxicated man reportedly took the extreme step and. Continue reading
Thanks to the Snow Storm, Family Spends Two Days Together at Home for the 1st Time in 10 Years
In a positive coming out of the snow storm which completely riddled life in parts of the country, a family managed. Continue reading
Adam Carolla Voted Worst Smelling Rich White Guy
Adam Carolla will not shut up about how his current wealth is the result of re-wiring himself. He has. Continue reading
13 Years Since Someone Memorized a Line on SNL
Cue cards are nothing new, but they never used to be so noticeable. Saturday Night Live (SNL) has turned its. Continue reading
Building Houses Out of Wood Declared “Tree Murder”
An environmental agency which hasn't had much to do after protesting against the Dakota Pipeline and filling the. Continue reading
Kim Kardashian West Voted Most Beautiful Person in the World
Socialite Kim Kardashian West had reason to celebrate today after she was voted Most Beautiful Person in the. Continue reading
Startup Launches ‘airbabynb’: A Baby Rental Service for People
A Silicon Valley startup headquartered 50 miles away from San Fransisco, as they couldn't afford any property. Continue reading
Trump Signs Executive Order to Legalize Marijuana in all 50 States
President Donald Trump yesterday signed an executive order which legalized marijuana in all 50 states. This has. Continue reading
SNL is OK, Ban Other Fake News
Has America gone crosseyed? Apple says it too will join the fight against "Fake News" alongside Facebook and. Continue reading
Facebook and Google Accidently Delete all News in an Attempt to Censor “Fake News”
Facebook and Google have decided that it's readers are too stupid to differentiate between NEWS, FAKE NEWS, and. Continue reading
Women March Wearing Pink Pig Hats? Bacon in Danger?
Today, millions of women and men took to the streets to march for a cause. Everyone appeared to be marching for a. Continue reading
Global Warming Due to Christmas Tree Harvesting, Cancel Christmas to Save the Planet
During the holiday season, there’s no better way to spend those cold winter nights than curled up by a nice warm. Continue reading
To Avoid Voter Fraud, the Vote for Trump to be Tuesday and Hillary on Wednesday
In a move to avoid voter fraud, the Federal Election Commission today announced that those voting for Trump would. Continue reading
Hillary Urges Police to Engage with Black Suspects Only After Being Shot at First
Washington DC: Hillary Clinton, the democratic presidential nominee, today urged all the police officers in the. Continue reading
Chargers to Host Tryouts for a New Punter
In a desperate attempt at winning, the San Diego Chargers are hosting an open tryout Thursday, October 13th, at. Continue reading
Pilot Deliberately Lands the Plane in Water to Check if Passengers Can Actually Perform the Safety Instructions Taught to Them
New York: An United Airlines pilot reportedly landed the plane in the Atlantic Ocean yesterday to check if the. Continue reading
Papa Johns and the Nationwide Insurance Company to Sue Manning. Outraged Over Free Endorsements of Omaha Steaks
Turns out that both companies Mr. Peyton Manning has endorsement contracts with got wind of his “OMAHA!”. Continue reading
Apple Go Bust!
Apple went into chapter 11 at precisely 9:23 a.m. Today. 'We would have thrown in the towel Sooner but we couldn't. Continue reading
Hillary Concerned About her Political Future After Getting Endorsed by Obama
Washington DC: According to some deleted emails accessed by Squib News, Hilary Clinton appears to have become very. Continue reading
Society Okays Discrimination on the Basis of Political Affiliations
In a case of a new social phenomena, people have collectively decided to start widespread discrimination on the. Continue reading
US Navy to Bring Giant Glacier from Antarctica to end Southern California Drought
The United States Navy today announced its plans to fetch a giant glacier from Antarctica in order to effectively. Continue reading
Hillary to Replace White Strips in the American Flag with Black Ones to Make it Racially Acceptable
Washington DC: Hillary Clinton today declared that if elected president, she would replace all the white strips. Continue reading
